You're not losing
your mind.
You're losing yourself.
There is a name for what has been done to you. There is a path out. And there are other men who understand exactly what you've been through.
Does any of this sound familiar?
"She says things and then denies ever saying them. I feel like I'm going insane."
"I can't explain it to anyone. They just look at me and say: you're a man, just leave."
"I don't recognise who I've become. I used to know what I thought and felt."
"I'm scared that if I leave, I'll lose everything, especially my kids."
"Part of me still wonders if I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm the problem."
You are not overreacting.
You are not too sensitive.
And you are not the problem.
What you are experiencing has a name: coercive control. It is a systematic pattern of behaviour designed to dominate, isolate, and erode your sense of self over time. It does not require physical violence to cause serious harm. And it does not get better on its own.
Coercive control is not well understood by most mainstream support services. It is even less understood when the victim is male. Which means many men go years without any accurate picture of what has happened to them, carrying shame, self-doubt, and confusion that belongs to their abuser, not to them.
If you have been questioning your own memory, walking on eggshells, or feeling like a stranger in your own life. This program was built for you.
What it does to you
Coercive control leaves marks that don't show up on x-rays
You can't stop replaying it
Your mind keeps returning to incidents, arguments, and moments, trying to work out what actually happened and who was at fault.
Your body won't settle
Hypervigilance, sleep problems, a constant low-level anxiety or numbness. Your nervous system is still braced for impact even when the threat is gone.
You don't trust yourself
Your confidence in your own perceptions, judgement, and decisions has been systematically undermined. You second-guess everything.
You've stopped talking about it
You've tried telling people and the response wasn't what you needed. Now you carry it silently, which makes everything heavier.
You feel like a ghost of yourself
The confident, purposeful person you were before the relationship has become hard to access. You're not sure how to get him back.
You're angrier than you want to be
Rage that feels disproportionate. Or a flatness where your feelings should be. Coercive control dysregulates the nervous system.
What you actually
want is simple.
Getting there isn't.
You want to understand what happened. You want to trust yourself again. You want to stop feeling like you're carrying something no one else can see. And more than anything, you want to feel like yourself again.
- ✓ To have someone believe you without having to justify yourself first
- ✓ To understand the patterns, and why you reacted the way you did
- ✓ To stop the hypervigilance and finally feel safe in your own body
- ✓ To navigate custody, co-parenting, or separation without losing yourself
- ✓ To know what to expect in court, and how to protect yourself
- ✓ To rebuild your identity outside of the relationship
This is exactly what the Reclaim program addresses.
Not generic domestic violence support that was built for a different experience. Not a mixed-gender group where you have to explain why it counts. A structured 10-week program built specifically for men experiencing or recovering from coercive control, because your experience is distinct and you deserve support that recognises that.
Evidence-based. Trauma-informed. Men-only. Led by a facilitator who has lived this.
The Program
10 weeks. A structured path forward.
Each phase builds on the last. By the end, you will have a clear understanding of what happened, practical tools for regulation and boundaries, and a vision for the life you want to build.
Name It
Understand coercive control: what it is, how it operated in your relationship, and why it was so hard to see.
Understand the Impact
Learn how trauma lives in the body and why you react the way you do. Self-blame gives way to self-compassion.
Reclaim Your Power
Somatic and psychological work to rebuild your sense of self, set boundaries, and discharge the stuck survival energy.
Build Forward
Clarify who you are outside of the relationship. Create a practical plan for the next chapter, with support behind you.
and men's work
Led by someone who has lived this.
Rudi Doku is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, IFS-trained therapist, and Certified Integral Coach, but more importantly, importantly, he is someone who has navigated coercive control firsthand.
He knows what it feels like to be told no one will believe you because you're male. To have your reality denied and your boundaries ignored. To face a family court system that was not designed with male victims in mind. He built this program because he needed it and it didn't exist.
This program is for you if
You don't need to be certain. You just need to recognise yourself here.
What recovery looks like
Not just feeling better. Feeling like yourself again.
Recovery from coercive control isn't abstract. Here is what men who do this work report experiencing on the other side.
You sleep again
The hypervigilance that kept you braced and scanning even at night begins to lift. Your body learns it is safe to rest.
You trust your own judgement
You stop second-guessing every decision. Your perception of reality stops being something you have to defend. You know what you think.
You can talk about it clearly
The confusion and shame that made it hard to explain lifts. You can name what happened, describe it accurately, and speak about it without falling apart.
You're present with your kids
Instead of managing conflict or bracing for the next crisis, you have the mental and emotional space to actually be with your children.
You feel like a man again
The confidence, purpose, and sense of self that coercive control eroded comes back. Not a performance of strength — a quiet, grounded sense of who you are.
You can see a future
The fog lifts. You stop being defined by what happened to you and start making choices from who you actually are and what you actually want.
You've carried this
alone for long enough.
The first step is a free 30-minute discovery call. No obligation. No pressure. Just an honest conversation about whether this program is the right fit for you.
Completely confidential. First names only. You can use a pseudonym.