Terms
What you're agreeing to, in language you can actually check.
These apply from the moment you apply, and they keep applying if you're offered a place and take it. Read them before you send anything. If something here doesn't sit right, raise it before you apply rather than after.
What the program is
A seven-month group for men rebuilding after a separation, running March to September 2027 in Melbourne. Six weekends, one a month, Friday evening and Saturday. Twelve men. Two facilitators, Rudi Doku and Caroline Shahbaz, in the room for all of it.
Rudi is trained in Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems. Caroline holds an MPsych and an MA in Depth Liberation Psychology, is a member of the Australian Psychological Society, and has a background in clinical psychology and thirty years in management consulting.
What it isn't
This is relational development and life-transition education. Four things it isn't, and each of them matters.
- It isn't therapy, counselling or psychiatric care, and taking part doesn't make anyone your therapist
- It isn't a Men's Behaviour Change Program and won't satisfy a court or a service that has directed you to one
- It isn't legal or financial advice, and nothing said in the room is either
- It isn't crisis support, and it can't hold a crisis
Plenty of men do this while also seeing a therapist or a lawyer, and that works well. If what you need is one of those instead, we'll say so.
Who can take part
Men aged 18 and over. The program space is men-only, and participants must identify as male.
Being offered a place depends on the application and the intake conversation. We won't offer every applicant a place, and that isn't a judgement about anybody. Twelve men have to be able to work together for seven months.
Getting a place
- You apply in writing
- If the application progresses, we talk for ninety minutes and work out fit in both directions
- If you're offered a place and you want it, a deposit holds it. The balance follows
Your place isn't held until the deposit is paid, whatever has been said in conversation.
What it costs
- The first group is $2,900, or $2,700 if you pay in full
- Otherwise it can be spread across the seven months, and the schedule is set before you start
- Two places are funded at no cost, awarded on application
Prices are in Australian dollars and include GST where it applies. If an instalment is going to be late, tell us before it is, and we'll work it out.
Changing your mind
Twelve places, and each one comes off the market the day it's accepted. That's the reason the windows below tighten as the program gets closer, rather than any wish to hold onto money.
- Within 14 days of accepting a place, and before the first weekend, you get everything back including the deposit
- After that, and before the first weekend, you get everything back except the deposit
- After the first weekend and before the second, you get back a proportion of what you've paid, which we'll set out in writing at the time
- From the second weekend on, the fee stands, because the place can no longer be refilled
- If we cancel the program, or can't run it, you get everything back
Refunds are paid within 14 business days of us agreeing one. If your circumstances change in a way none of this anticipates, tell us. These are the defaults, not a wall.
Turning up
Six weekends over seven months only works if the same twelve men are in the room. You're expected at all of them, and at whatever your braintrust and buddy arrangements turn out to be.
Missing a weekend can't be made up with a recording, because there isn't one. What you missed comes from us and from the men you're working with. If you go quiet without telling anyone, we'll come looking, and if it keeps happening we may end your place to protect the group.
Conditions of the room
Some things the group decides together. These are set before you arrive and aren't open to negotiation.
- No threats and no intimidation, of anyone, at any point
- Nothing identifying about a former partner leaves the room, in any form and to anyone
- The group is never used to build a case against anybody
- No recording of any session
- No retaliation against a man who gives you honest feedback
- No recruiting other men into grievance communities
- No sexualised conduct
- Facilitators will interrupt the group when it's needed, and will say so when they do
Breaking one of these can end your place immediately, and the refund position in that case is the same as if you'd left at that point.
Confidentiality, and what it can't do
What you say stays between the two facilitators, and everyone in the room agrees to the same. We won't pass anything to a third party except where you've told us in writing that we can, where someone is at serious risk of harm, or where the law requires it.
A court can still compel disclosure. These terms don't create legal privilege, and nothing said in this program is protected from a subpoena the way a conversation with your lawyer is. If you're in or near family law proceedings, factor that in before you decide what to bring, and take your lawyer's advice about it rather than ours.
Eleven other men also hear what you say. We set the conditions above and we enforce them. What we can't do is guarantee what another participant does with something he heard.
Nothing is recorded
No session is recorded, by us or by anyone in the room, in any format. That's a condition of taking part.
If we end your place
We can end a place where someone's conduct puts another participant or a facilitator at risk, where a condition above has been broken, or where it becomes clear the program isn't the right thing for a man right now.
Except in the case of a serious breach, we'll talk to you first and give you a chance to change something. Where we end a place ourselves and you haven't broken a condition, we'll refund the unused portion.
Materials
Workbooks, handouts and anything else we give you are ours, and they're for you. Don't reproduce or circulate them without asking. Anything you write yourself during the program is yours.
What we don't promise
We can't promise a particular outcome, and we won't. What a man gets out of seven months depends on what he brings to it and on things neither of us controls.
To the extent the law allows, we're not liable for any direct, indirect or consequential loss arising from taking part or from using this website. Nothing in these terms limits your rights under the Australian Consumer Law, and where those rights conflict with anything written here, they win.
Which law applies
The law of Victoria, Australia, and the courts of Victoria.
If these change
We'll update them when the program changes, and the date at the top says when that last happened. If a change affects someone already enrolled, we'll write to them rather than leave it here to be found.
Contact
Rudi Doku
Melbourne, Australia
rudi@reclaimsmenshealing.com